


And You Caused It

by dear_chaton



Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: Adrien goes to visit his father in prison for the first time in forever bc of Marinette, Angst with an angst ending, F/M, Gabriel was Hawkmoth, Its four years after the defeat of Hawkmoth, Other, She insists they go, Take it as you will, the openest of open endings, whoops
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-11
Updated: 2016-11-11
Packaged: 2018-08-28 18:37:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,349
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8457883
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dear_chaton/pseuds/dear_chaton
Summary: Or the one where Adrien revisits the past and tries to come out okay





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [isadorator](https://archiveofourown.org/users/isadorator/gifts).
  * Inspired by [sins cannot be undone](https://archiveofourown.org/works/7169459) by [isadorator](https://archiveofourown.org/users/isadorator/pseuds/isadorator). 



> I hope you like your remix :) I’m sorry if it's super angsty, you can thank Youth by daughter for that lol
> 
> Thank you so much to Jake for beta-ing this on such a short notice, you're the absolute best even you love to make fun of my spelling mistakes, I love you so much and just thank you again! Thank you to Whit for putting up with my complaining throughout this entire process, and giving me such rad songs to listen to and unintentionally give me inspiration you're amazing girl!
> 
> I think that's about it for the thanks and I guess its now time to enjoy the story!!

If you would've told Adrien that taking the ring, taking Plagg and protecting the city of Paris would eventually lead to coming face to face with his father who started it all, he would've called you crazy.  
  
And yet, there he was, sitting front of the man that singlehandedly caused him so much emotional, mental, hell even physical pain over the last couple of years.  
  
The phantom ache in his chest never quite went away... just another reminder of what Gabriel had tried to do in attempt to get his miraculous. And at what price?  
  
To bring back his dead mother? One soul for another? Ultimate power? And he was okay with this transaction? It's what kept Adrien awake most nights, even years later after Hawkmoth’s defeat.  
  
He was nineteen now, starting his second year at University and it had been Marinette's careful prodding that Adrien tried to visit his father again. He hasn't since the first couple of visits, not after he became too emotional to even think rationally; he almost cataclysmed the window that separated them, just to find out what happened if it touched human flesh.  
  
❝How could you?!❞ He had yelled at the man all those years ago, whose pity in those lifeless eyes meant nothing to Adrien.  
  
❝Son, if you could just listen to me and let me explain…❞  
  
❝You don't get to explain yourself! You tried to kill me, your own son, and for what?!❞ Gabriel opened his mouth to answer but Adrien cut him off.  
  
❝And don't you dare say mom, because even she doesn't fucking deserve this.❞

With Hawkmoth’s defeat, Marinette had allowed their friends and family into their closely protected secret, seeing there was no more danger. And so, their identities became known.

Gabriel had found out from the news as he sat in his cell. So watching his son stand there and yell at him, brought no surprise to him. If it wasn't for Ladybug's magic, Adrien wouldn't even be standing there.  
  
❝Adrien, I-❞  
  
❝Don't ‘Adrien’ me. What the fuck were you thinking?!❞  
  
It didn't go much further than that... His father had choked out some half-assed excuse for his actions again before Adrien lost it. It definitely wasn't one of his finer moments but he was well beyond the point of caring.

His own father had killed him. He knew that. And the entire city knew that once his transformation had fallen at a press conference the following month. And so, now Gabriel knew that.

So fight him if he felt a little more dead inside than normal.  
  
That was four years ago. He had grown and matured from his childish ways. He was still very much Chat, as Marinette was still Ladybug: his Lady.

Marinette. She had walked next to him as they made their way through the prison halls. Her hand was wrapped tightly around his own, comforting him and distracting him from what was to come.

The two of them signed their names. The officer at the desk grimaces as he recognizes Adrien, as he buzzes them through the threshold. Marinette was initially there for moral support, underlying a point of comfort if Adrien grew anxious with his father. He never did quite get over the night of the final fight. Nightmares plagued his mind constantly, to the point that sleeping with Marinette became a necessity if he wanted some peace.  
  
His father sat at the visiting booth. His hair was limp and bags stretched deep under his eyes. He's old, older than Adrien has ever seen him, and maybe there's a hint of pity growing beneath the pain.  
  
Did he ever love you?  
  
Adrien doesn't know. He's never known what his father is thinking. But... he's never let that stop him from trying. Not before. He picks up the receiver.  
  
❝Hello Adrien.❞ Gabriel speaks, throat raspy and crackly.  
  
❝Hello Father.❞ He nods, formalities the same as the last time Adrien visited. The blond was tense, possibly more tense than he was the first visit. His hand grips the receiver as if his life depended on it.  
  
Before either man can say a word however, the silence is broken by Marinette, who smiles gently at Gabriel Agreste.  
  
❝Monsieur.❞ He acknowledges her, with a small grimace, glancing between them with a pained look on his face.  
  
❝Adrien, I'm sorry son.❞ Adrien sighed heavily, he was so incredibly done with everything and quite honestly was fine with leaving his father to rot away in this place.  
  
But there was the question of forgiveness. It had been long and hard, but one by one, each of his friends and new family forgave what his father had done. Adrien looked over at Marinette, rubbing her knee gingerly. If it hadn't been for her and her parents, Adrien would have had to stay in his mansion, haunted by the memories that no longer meant anything to him. He would have been alone all of these years. Adrien knew that the panic attacks and the depression that came along with the new revelation would have surely driven him to insanity.  
  
But Adrien couldn't. He just couldn't find it in his heart to forgive his father. He could forgive the times that he wasn't allowed outside, he could forgive the times he turned his classmates, his friends, into villains for his own cause, but he couldn't forgive the fatal wound or how Gabriel dared to keep this from him.  
  
❝You don't deserve to say those words.❞ He bristled. Plagg poked his head out of his shirt pocket, eyes solemn, and flew out to face Gabriel. Since emptying out the mansion of his personal belongings, Adrien found the peacock miraculous in his father's' safe. Now Duusu stayed hidden away with the rest of the unused kwamis with Master Fu. The small peacock had been lost for almost as long as the butterfly miraculous. It was no surprise that Gabriel was the reason for that one.  
  
Beside Nooroo, Plagg was the only other kwami Gabriel had seen this close. There was no doubt Ladybug's kwami was here as well but then again, he hadn't killed her chosen. Plagg hissed at the man, eyes narrowing into little green slits.  
  
❝There's nothing I can tell you that you haven't already heard from the city, your own son, and probably from your wife at this point.❞ Gabriel looked miffed at the tiny god, but only tightened his grip on the phone receiver to listen on.  
  
❝And you,❞ Plagg turned to Adrien, glare only softening a minuscule. ❝You have to learn to forgive, kid.❞  
  
❝Plagg you can't be serious.❞  
  
❝When have I ever joked around, kid?❞  
  
❝Now you have to be kidding me. The entire first year with you was a joke.❞  
  
❝Sometimes acting like everything's a joke is better than worrying about losing kittens. You were one of the lucky ones Adrien.❞

The four of them sat in thought, Plagg’s words echoing loudly in the otherwise silent room. Seconds ticked by, and when Adrien was sure that the conversation was over and they could get going, Gabriel spoke up.

❝Ms. Dupain-Cheng, may I have a moment with my son?❞ Though her ear wasn't pressed to the phone, Marinette could read the man's’ lips quite well considering how many battles had been fought with Adrien where words couldn't have been uttered. She nodded quickly, plucking Plagg out of the air, and a soft promise to bring Adrien something to eat when she returned.

Adrien watched her walk away with a grimace and turned back to his father, who stared past his face with a blank look in his eyes.

❝Well what did have you to say that was so important that you just had to get Marinette out of here?❞

❝I’m sorry son, I truly mean it this time.❞

❝Oh, and you mean to tell me that all the other times meant jack shit. Well isn't that just great? Wonderful even.❞ Gabriel held up his hand and Adrien ceased to talk, waiting for what the man had to say.

❝Good. Now will you let me just explain everything properly son?❞

❝Depends, is it the same story from four years ago?❞

❝No, it's the cold hard truth Adrien.❞

❝… proceed.❞

❝I know that I failed you as a father. I lied to you, I gave into the temptation of power and I know I should have at least tried to fight it. I could have done better for you, been a proper father that you needed. I truly am sorry Adrien.❞ Gabriel takes a shaky breath, and that's when Adrien realizes his father is crying. It's not a lot, but it's enough that his heart aches, and he briefly wonders if this man was even the same man from four years ago.

❝And I know, god I know, you’re not going to forgive me, at least not anytime soon. I know your life is much better now than it ever has been, and the whole reason why it was bad before was entirely my fault. I was scared Adrien… I had lost your mother. I didn't even want to think about what would happen if I lost you as well.❞

❝But it still happened Dad.❞ Adrien hadn’t called him dad since he was little, when his family was still whole and innocent.

❝I know- I know it did, and I wanted to give you the world, but I couldn’t risk it. Your mother... she would have killed me if she was given the chance. So I gave you everything else. Anything to distract from the fact that I was losing you like I lost your mother.❞

❝How? It's not like you could have prevented her death.❞

❝No, but I could have loved her more before she left us.❞ Adrien noticed he didn't mention her death, and brushed it off like he always did. Her death wasn’t something they talked about frequently, nevermind bring up the events leading up to her death. Adrien knew the basics, they were out for evening stroll the three of them, and suddenly time slowed down.

There was a lot of screaming and Adrien briefly remembers his mother pushing him off to the side where a loud screeching filled his ears. He would never forget the image of his mother going flying, hitting the pavement with a sickening crack and lying motionless.

Adrien remembers crying for days. He didn't cry much up to that point, but he did a lot of it. His mother was dead, and now his father was as cold as ever. It was almost as if both of his parents were dead instead of one.

❝I know I don't deserve your forgiveness; but can you just forgive me, at least just temporarily? I know this is all my fault, I’ve accepted that fully by now and I should have been more careful. I should have denied Nooroo, but I just wanted this family to be happy again.❞

❝And you think I didn’t?❞

❝No, of course not. But I know you loved your mother more than you loved me. It might’ve been heightened by my absence, but I know how devastated you were by her leaving. She was your world, and then suddenly I was thrown into fatherhood without a clue on how to take care of your properly.❞ Gabriel suddenly looked much more exhausted, and Adrien couldn’t help but feel a tad bad about treating him as he had done.

Suddenly it felt like he was heaving through corrupted lungs, as if his insides were instantly set aflame for the fun of it. He hadn’t felt like this in a long time, not since Hawkmoth’s staff had slipped through his suit and between his ribs to deliver the killing blow. He thought he had gotten over the ache in his chest, but now it felt like he was drowning.

The air around him grew thick, black spots danced across his vision as he tried to regulate his breathing, but to no avail. He knew this feeling all too well, almost as well as the ache in his heart: the erratic breathing, the dizziness of his head. A panic attack.

He willed himself to calm down. Forced himself to believe that there was absolutely no reason to panic like this. He counted to ten, inhaled and exhaled, a hand gripping the counter as support while he steadied his breathing.

When he looked up, Plagg and Gabriel were looking at him, each with varying emotions crossing their faces. Plagg knew all too well of his panic attacks. He had been taking medication to calm them ever since he started University.

Gabriel, however, mouth gaping with disbelief that he had one. Adrien snorted to himself, of course, not even his son’s own mental health meant half as much as his gallivanting around Paris as the local villain. Adrien, now calm, steeled himself to look Gabriel in the eye, jaw stiff.

❝I wasn’t aware of… your current situation.❞ Gabriel murmured, and Adrien couldn’t help but laugh, and by the look on his father’s face, he was confused.

It was a sight to see, the great Gabriel Agreste with no fucking clue who his son was, the irony was almost too great. His son, one half of the team that took him down all those years ago. And still, the old man hadn’t a clue as to who Adrien really was.

He was done sitting here and talking to a man that hadn’t given him emotional stability for the majority of his life, so why start now? It wasn’t worth it. Gabriel wasn’t in custody of him, he hadn’t been for four long years, and Adrien was his own person.

❝Yeah, if you weren’t aware, but your little stunt four years ago kind of fucked me over, and I still have nightmares thanks to you and your blood thirsty demands.❞

❝Adrie-,❞

❝No, you know what: fuck you. I am sick and tired of what you put me through, as Adrien and as Chat. I was willing to come in here today to see you for Marinette’s sake,❞ but he knew not even she knew the extent of emotional abuse this man made him suffer. He starved for emotional connection, longed for physical affection, words of affirmation were at his fingertips. But for all the wrong reasons.

❝Son I am sorry, truly and honestly sorry. I don’t know what else you want me to say.❞

❝Then why don’t you say nothing at all, god dammit! You knew what you were doing to me. Did you ever ask for my opinion before you conditioned me into the way I am now?!❞

❝No, but I was doing it-❞

❝If you say it was for my own good, I swear to fucking god I will cataclysm this window, which just so happens to be the only thing standing in my way of punching you.❞ Gabriel gulped, and Adrien felt a small wave of pride, that yes, maybe now his father would take himself seriously for once. But he unclenched his fist, unknowingly clenched it in his fit of anger, and sighed heavily.

❝You were reckless and young, I thought that I could change your mind Adrien. To change your future, from this.❞ Gabriel gestured to all of him, and his eye twitched.

❝Yeah well look where that landed us.❞ He hissed, half wishing that Marinette was here in case he went too far, but also glad she wasn’t here to see this side of him, his feral side.

It didn’t help the fact that Plagg was encouraging him from his shirt pocket.

❝Adrien you really can’t believe that you were chosen for this. I mean, what would your mother have wanted? To have you running around the rooftops of the city, or staying at home where you belonged?❞

❝That house was not my home, you made damn-well sure of that Father. That house was nothing but bare bones. I could have anything I wanted, anything material; but the moment I craved for comfort, you shut me out!❞ It was a miracle that after all he’s been through, his feelings weren’t just dead and gone. That, despite it all, he had fallen in love with the most beautiful, caring, independent, and wonderful woman he’s ever met: Marinette. Ladybug. Two sides of the same coin.

He was one of the lucky ones. Despite its notoriety as the city of love, love was hard to find in the city of Paris. He supposed if his father hadn't done the things he had done, he wouldn’t have met Marinette at all. He wouldn’t have rebelled as hard as he did, and wouldn’t have become Chat Noir, which is honestly one of the best jobs in the world.

❝I had lost it all Father. We had lost mom, and it was suddenly like a flood had come and wrecked our home; a flood of distance and I was the only one trying to preserve her memory, the way that she wanted it. After awhile, I felt just as dead and lifeless, a face that you would soon forget. And you caused it.❞

❝That was never my intention... I promised your mother I would keep you safe, and I still intend to keep that promise. I’m sorry I was bitter over losing her, I shouldn’t have pushed you so far away. I was just trying to distract myself from ever missing her. Adrien, you are lucky, despite being the black cat.❞ Plagg hissed from his shirt pocket, and Adrien felt just as unnerved. It wasn’t the first time Gabriel had called him that, and it certainly wouldn’t be the last.

❝I hear your apology, but I don’t accept it. I honestly don’t think I ever can Father.❞ Adrien dropped his gaze down to Plagg, who was nodding his head in agreement. Gabriel sighed, nodding his head too in defeat, as though it finally registering in his mind that he had messed up.

❝That’s okay Adrien, I’ll be here if you change your mind.❞ Adrien went to hang up his receiver when Marinette padded her way back into the room. Tikki hovered by the doorway, looking weary as they started to wrap up their visit. Adrien briefly wondered how long this visit had become, but decided to leave it alone for now.

❝Are you ready to go?❞ Marinette asked. Adrien sighed, putting up his receiver and scooting his chair backwards. As he rose up, Gabriel gripped his phone, eyes wide and trembling. He was almost out of the room though when his father acted.  
  
❝Adrien, wait!❞ Adrien stopped and turned back to face the man.  
  
❝Since this may be the last time you see me,❞ he could see Marinette glare at him from the corner of his eye, but he couldn't deny it. ❝I wanted to come completely clean about something❞.  
  
That had Adrien's attention, unfortunately. Sighing as he once again took a seat, Marinette following close behind, he picked the phone back up.

❝You see, I only wanted to protect you from the truth, stupidly thinking that it would change your fate from this,❞ Gabriel gestured to Plagg and Tikki.  
  
❝What do you mean?❞  
  
❝I mean that,❞ His father swallowed slowly, lowering his gaze to the table between them.  
  
❝Your mother is still alive.❞ Adrien gripped his receiver, but it did nothing to calm the fire, the red that flashed before his eyes. He hadn't felt like this since Ladybug had jumped into the mouth of that T-Rex.  
  
Adrien was furious. He had so many damn questions, he didn't even know how to react. Marinette's hand on his shoulder brought him back to the real world, just for a moment before everything shattered.  
  
❝Then let me ask you this, father.❞ Gabriel seemed to know what was coming and nodded. All of this time, his mother was alive. All of this time. He couldn't believe it, probably wouldn't believe it if not for the solemn face his father had. But he had to know, just had to know this last thing before they left.

❝Where is my mother?❞

**Author's Note:**

> So that was fun, even though I had the hardest time getting this started, I really had a creative block and almost pulled out of the remix, but thankfully I didn't. 11/10 would do again!!
> 
> Comment and give kudos please!!


End file.
